Omicron. Rogue variants. Potential World War III on the Russian-Ukrainian border. The mess we’ve left in Afghanistan, which is costing the lives of thousands of innocent people. And the foundational fear: the Earth is understandably trying to get rid of us with decimating storms, wildfires, earthquakes, tsunamis, drought, dead bees, and plagues.
I “manage” all this stress and anxiety by ignoring it. Feeling it all, all the time, would crush me. So I pay no attention to it. I think it’s what most of us do. We’re all living like semi-zombies these days.
Sometimes, like today, I spring a leak and all the fear busts up to the surface. I feel very needy. Then I push it back down again and ignore it until the next leak.
I get some solace from my desktop window image. It’s from San Xavier del Bac, south of Tucson. I took the photo the last time we were able to go visit friends there, which was a couple of weeks before the plague shut everything down. Little did we know.
It’s a beautiful sunny but chilly November day here—a big 43°F. My body hasn’t acclimated yet, so I’m reluctant to go outside and be cold. I reached the age sometime in the last year or two where I don’t want to be cold. I’ve always loved winter and snow and ice on the trees, but these days the thought of layering up and going out into frigid temperatures just doesn’t appeal to me. Hopefully after my body chills down from summer heat, I’ll be less resistant to it.
One of the good things about being vaccinated is having the freedom to go grocery shopping at the store. But getting used to ordering online and having them delivered makes going to the store seem like an effort. Many things that were done for us during the lockdown now feel like an effort. But I’m committed to not ordering deliveries when we can buy it on foot, so to speak. My little part in saving the environment.
On Sundays, James does church online, his own live reflections on the times. I always have a hard time getting it to start, figuring out how to access it. Then I’m lagging behind him, so if I can hear him at all through the walls or open deck doors, it gets really annoying. So I just turned my sound off today (once I finally got on the live video) and will turn it on for the reflection, with earphones. I need them anyway because one of the design flaws of this new laptop is crappy speakers located on the UNDERSIDE. Why? Super stupid. Otherwise, I like it. And now that I’ve gotten used to a touch screen, I try to touch every other screen to make it do something.
Yesterday was a lazy day, except for some more pruning in my current area of renewal in the yard. Almost done there—everything is cut way back, so it looks really different. In a year or two, it will have grown into itself and look natural again. 11 years of neglect turned it into a tangled jungle of mess.
Today I get to finish the taxes. And maybe a couple of face masks. I keep saying I’m going to do that but haven’t because it’s been so long since I sewed anything I’m intimidated about returning to it. Something that should be quick and simple will take 3 times as long and probably require a lot of seam ripping. I don’t look forward to frustration. But it would be nice to have prettier masks and not fill up the landfills with disposable ones. Think about how many masks are going into the trash. We’ll have mountains of them by the end of the year! I wonder if they’re toxic when they decompose. I’ll look that up—if they are, that will motivate me to make our own.
So, as I suspected, disposable face masks (and latex gloves) are an environmental nightmare. I’ll be making some reusable ones today.