Category Archives: Fibromyalgia

Pandemic Diary: 5 Mar 2021

I’ve been writing in a global pandemic journaling project, so I haven’t posted anything here in a couple of weeks. Here are a couple of the other journal entries to keep you updated.

[22 Feb ’21] The system for getting a vaccination makes me intensely angry. It’s completely unjust, and a mess. This is a global pandemic, people! If we don’t get people vaccinated, it’s just going to continue to kill people. More than 500,000 people have been killed by COVID in the US alone. That’s half a million. Over 12.5 times the number of people in Pittsfield. Imagine 12 and a half Pittsfields dead. I can’t imagine it. The numbers are beyond reckoning now. Globally, 2.5 million+ people have died. So many unnecessary.

The US accounts for 20% of all COVID deaths, in the whole world. 20%. Something is horribly wrong here. And I lay that at Trump’s feet. He got the vaccines approved quickly, but he did nothing about getting them distributed. What good are vaccines if people can’t get them?

I’m totally disgusted with this mishandled nightmare.


[1 Mar ’21] Had a really bad fibromyalgia episode Sunday night, out of nowhere. I’d been doing well for a couple of weeks, but we had a windstorm that knocked out our power around midnight, which means my CPAP shut off, which woke me up. So I had to go sleep in the guest room so my snoring wouldn’t wake up James. By then, I was fully awake and noticed some FM pain beginning. In a few minutes, it was a total-body throb, with tingling in my joints. I think it’s the worst pain episode I’ve had yet. Gabapentin didn’t help, so I ended up cancelling my morning classes and taking an Ambien to get to sleep. The whole next day I was trembly and in low-grade pain. I cancelled my evening classes, too.

Today it was hard to get up, and then my back seized up while drying my hair, of all things. I managed to hobble to my study and teach my morning lessons, and after sleeping/resting for a couple of hours, the pain is gone. I’m still exhausted, though! My FM has been consistently worse throughout the pandemic than it was before. Stress triggers flare-ups, so the past year has pretty much been one long flare-up!

Obviously not a great couple of weeks. It’s sunny today, so maybe I’ll bundle up (it’s 22ºF and windy, so the “RealFeel” is 6ºF) and go for a walk. That will help in many many ways.

Pandemic Diary: 28 Oct 2020

That’s about how I feel.

My last week of the month to make up some missed hours due to fibromyalgic exhaustion. My energy is much better, so I was ready to crank it out. Then today… Is it my SI joint? or a myofascial trigger point? The pain is in the same place, so it’s impossible to tell and it doesn’t really matter since the only treatments at this stage for either one are rest and pain relievers, or steroid injections. I’m not interested in injections right now, so what’s left? Rest. When I need to be working. These two things don’t go together.

Pandemic Diary: 1 Sep 2020

So I spent the past month mostly in bed with some weird exhaustion thing, so not much to tell. I’m starting to feel better now, thankfully. And September started today, so new beginning.

I went through 8–10 boxes of stuff I’ve been trucking around with me since high school. Notes between our oddball circle at school, letters from friends, and lots of (mostly uncompleted) journals from past decades. It was fun in some ways, and hard in others. Tough times that I’m glad are long ago and far away. It’s made me a bit frayed around the edges, reliving some of those things. I chose not to read a lot of it very closely, but a little goes a long way.

Anyway, a fun part will be looking at the hundreds of slides I collected, back when nothing was digitized and slides looked 1000% better than print photos. I haven’t seen them in years. My ancient slide projector actually powered on, but the bulb is shot (I’ve had it since college, so… 40 years), but my husband’s at-least-as-ancient projector works. Good thing because we can’t afford to buy one. Once I’ve viewed and sorted all the slides, I’ll have to scan them. Or send them somewhere to be scanned so I don’t have to put that kind of time in. (I have a good scanner, but it only does maybe 6 slides at a time, and then I have to take the scans and make them into good files. Way too much work!)

We took the dog for a walk around the block this afternoon. It’s 1.2 miles, with hills, so not a super simple schlep. After 3 weeks of mostly lying down, it was quite an effort to make it all the way. The old dog had a tough go of it, too. But the more we do it, the easier it will get. To a point, anyway.

The Old Dog in her natural habitat

Pandemic Diary: 20 July 2020

I’m writing this on my phone at 12:50 AM while not sleeping. It was so hot today I couldn’t do anything but lie around so now my body is registering every pressure as pain. One of my students told me last week that she had a backache because it was humid. “Humidity causes backaches,” she insisted. Apparently everyone in Japan knows this. It’s news to me. Humidity just causes exhaustion in me.

The kids are planning to make another go at visiting, on July 28–31. I hope it works out. I keep having dreams at night about seeing them.

We had planned to go out today for a drive and walk, just to have something else in our visual field. We’re very fortunate to live in a lovely place, but after 5 months, anything gets old. But as I mentioned, it was too hot to do anything. There was a heat advisory, so it wasn’t just me being weeny.

We did walk down to Jaeshkes to get corn. And we got a few more herb plants to put where the slug-slain kale was. More cilantro (you can never have too much), an Italian parsley, and 2 different kinds of sage. The pole beans are starting to spiral up the poles, and the cucumber is climbing the trellis with gusto. By the end of August we’ll be up to our ears in it.

Well I guess I’ll go eat something, take drugs, and try to go to sleep. I have to be up at 8, so I’ve still got 6½ hours left to sleep. Which is plenty fine. Although being on my phone won’t help any.